Disjointed
by notanotherfanficauthor
Summary: I'm little more than a minute away from choking to death on my own blood and, even though it's by your hand, there's still an unsaid apology on my lips that I can't bring myself to give you the satisfaction of saying aloud." Vincent x Claudia drabble.


_Just spamming up with some random Vincent ramblings. _

~J

* * *

I like to destroy things. Well, maybe "like" is the wrong word, but let's call it a compulsion. There's a school of thought concerning the psychology of abuse, and how it impacts on a person when they go from child to adult. They say that men tend to be outwardly destructive, and women tend to self destruct.

But then, look at Claudia and I. She was hell-for-leather on destroying the whole fucking world, and I was fairly content just to piss all over my own private bonfire and carry on being my own worst enemy. But then again, she always did wear the trousers in our relationship, even if I could never admit it.

Well, Claudia, you got me now. Good and proper. Was that a flash of regret that I saw crossing your alabaster brow just there? Are those pale, bloodless lips parted in grief? In horror? In self loathing? Does it really matter? I'm little more than a minute away from choking to death on my own blood and even though it's by your hand, there's still an unsaid apology on my lips that I can't bring myself to give you the satisfaction of saying aloud.

Oh, do shut up, Heather. I think it's plainly obvious what she's done. She's fucking damned us all, that's what.

You know, Heather, I was horribly, hopelessly jealous of you. You won't remember, of course, but before you were this bratty, mouthy teenager, before you were a sweet kid in the arms of her adoptive father, before they burned you alive, before everything, you were the person I hated most in the world. I've never seen any two people in the whole world who loved one another more than you and Claudia. I never really got a look-in until Dahlia turned you into Sunday roast and even then, you had to keep showing up and sucking the whole fucking town into Hell with you. As if we all weren't already painfully aware that you were pissed off.

There was a brief time, somewhere caught like a snowflake on my tongue, somewhere between the time when Dahlia died, and when Claudia started to get obsessed with finding you, when neither of us had a whole lot of hope that you were still kicking around. Do you know something Heather? Those were probably the best days of my life.

Sure, Claudia and I still fought like cat and dog. She was still frigid and devout, I was still sleeping around and stealing from the collection plates. But there was a mutual understanding between us, that we had each other, and that was all we needed.

Until you showed up again.

I thought about killing you Heather, and I told myself that if I did, it would be because I'd be preventing the apocalypse. But Valtiel would just keep on resurrecting you, and where would the fucking point in that be? Shame on me, I can't even murder a teenager properly. So I just settled for fucking with your head instead. Don't take it personally, I'm an incredibly petty person.

And as for you Claudia, I still don't understand what you're trying to achieve here. Maybe you want the pain to go away, but taking the whole world down with you is pretty melodramatic, even for your standards. Maybe you just want your old-time playground friend back, even if she does hate you now for the crazy bitch you've become.

Anyway, it doesn't matter a great deal, I guess. I mean, I wanted to save the world for selfish reasons, and if I'm going to die, then I don't much care either way any more. Might as well die looking like a hero, even if no one is going to survive to extol my virtues to history's lathe.

God, Claudia, but you're magnificent. Even rambling like a lunatic and waving a knife about, I can't help but adore you. I wish I could tell you that, but we have to stick to the rules, don't we, love? Even in death, we have to stick to them.

It's on the tip of my tongue now...I'm about to die, there will be no shame if I tell you now.

Deep breath, and God Almighty, it hurts. It hurts so much. But I have to tell her. I have to get those words out if it kills me...

"...now your stupid dream is over!"

Alright. So that wasn't exactly what I meant to say. But remember when I said I liked to destroy things for myself?

Still, better by your hand than any other way, Claudia.


End file.
